Breaking news, I am now a Teacher. “Ms. Weedman”- honestly it took me a few days to get used to hearing that because I kept looking around for my Mother. Of course students called me that while I was student teaching, but this time it was different because they were MY students. It’s just me and 19 kids. There is now no one to run ideas by, no one to turn and ask a quick question. I am a one woman show… in what seems like a three-ring circus!
I have been MIA. I was hired as a second-grade teacher on a Thursday, set up my classroom on Friday, had professional development Monday and Tuesday and then all of a sudden had 19 students I was responsible for on Wednesday. It was a whirlwind. I expected to take my first week of teaching off from blogging, but I did not expect to be gone for about 3 weeks. If I am honest, I have been really struggling. My Ehlers Danlos has been in FULL FORCE with all the change going on. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have heard me talk about how I am struggling with a sleeping disorder. I can not get into a sleep study until November. And to keep it real, I have also have been somewhat depressed. I did not expect the extreme emotions I would take home with me everyday. I have struggled to separate my classroom life from my home life. Last week all my friends were settled back at college in Nashville, TN and I was extremely sad. I keep asking myself why I decided to graduate a year early and move back to my hometown. My friends were out late going to concerts and getting Pizza and I was at home, drinking Emergen-C (so I wouldn’t get strep) and praying I could stay awake until 9pm.
I have been overwhelmed by school work and for a while I struggled to make it out of the house. Thank you to my amazing friends who have continually checked on me and even those who have dragged me out of the house! It was good for me. Everyone says your first year is the hardest. I now fully support that statement, HA! Despite being overwhelmed and questioning if I made the right decision to rush the whole “adulting” process, I know that God has a plan. I have never prayed so much in my entire life. I pray for myself, the 19 little lives I spend my days with, for the school I work at, and for the other teachers. Lots of Jesus people, LOTS of Jesus.
Sometimes I wonder if my students are listening to anything I say. I wanted to share the picture below with you guys. I have talked a lot with my students about diversity and how we are all the same on the inside. I really want my students to know that I love them, and I want them to love each other. We have already read numerous books on friendship and diversity but some days I feel like I am talking to a brick wall! Most things I say go in one ear and out the other! A student handed me the picture below and said “do you like it?”, I looked at it and told him “Yes! It is beautiful! I can tell that you worked so hard! Your mom is really going to love it!”- He stared at me and then back at his drawing and looked confused. He eventually looked up at me and said “Ms. Weedman, the picture is for you, I made this picture of you. You taught me that we are all the same on the inside and I know that you love me even though I am black. I wanted to draw a picture that made you look like me. I knew it would make you feel special.” I stood there and struggled to find words to respond, I hugged him and reassured him that he was right, I did feel really special and I was so glad he know that I loved him for who he was. Moments like that are why I became a teacher.
As much as my students drive me CRAZY! I love them each to pieces. I have laughed, yelled, talked in funny voices, and made a fool of myself more than ever but it is all worth it! I am finally getting into the swing of things and have nailed down a blogging schedule. I will be posting on Mondays and Wednesdays. I promise this will not become a teacher blog- I just thought I owed it to everyone to explain where I have been, what I have been doing and I ask that you send any prayers, good vibes, positive thought, or whatever you got my way!
Thanks for checking in!